For a long time, I thought my body was betraying me.

That was the story I kept telling myself.

My emotions felt unpredictable. Some weeks I felt motivated, social, and clear-headed. During others, everything suddenly felt heavier, and I couldn’t understand why.

The solution I kept coming back to was discipline.

Drink more water.
Get more sleep.
Think more positively.
Push through it.

Part of me believed that if I worked hard enough, eventually I would become the version of myself who always had it together.

But every month I found myself running into the same wall.

Initially, I blamed myself.

When sadness appeared unexpectedly, I told myself I needed to be stronger. Moments of feeling overwhelmed became proof that I was too emotional, while impatience or irritability felt like evidence that I simply wasn’t managing life well enough.

Honestly, that’s what a lot of us learn.

Especially as Black women.

Many of us grow up learning how to continue functioning through discomfort. Carrying things quietly becomes normal, and resilience gets celebrated so often that eventually we stop asking whether we’re surviving something we were never meant to carry alone.

So I kept pushing.

Then I started noticing something.

None of it felt random anymore.

The exhaustion had timing. Anxiety showed up in familiar ways. Emotional heaviness seemed to arrive around the same point every month.

Weeks that once felt chaotic slowly started looking connected.

For years I thought I was inconsistent.

Eventually, I realized my body had been communicating with me the entire time.

I just didn’t know how to listen yet.

Listening Looked Different Than I Expected

At first, I thought listening to my body meant finding one perfect answer.

One diagnosis.

One medication.

One treatment plan that would suddenly make everything make sense.

Reality looked much different.

Listening started with paying attention to sleep patterns and noticing emotional shifts. It looked like recognizing that certain weeks required more rest, more patience, and more gentleness than others.

Eventually I found myself asking:

What am I feeling right now?

instead of:

Why can’t I just get it together?

That shift changed my relationship with myself.

Because I stopped approaching my body like something that needed fixing.

Instead, I started approaching it like something worth understanding.

Symptom tracking across menstrual cycles can help improve diagnosis accuracy and support more personalized treatment planning for PMDD.

Trust Took Time

Building trust with my body didn’t happen overnight.

Self-doubt had been there for too long.

Questions kept showing up:

Was I imagining things?

Was I overreacting?

Was I paying too much attention to symptoms?

Over time, though, I learned something important.

Patterns deserve attention.

Pain deserves attention.

Emotional shifts deserve attention.

Bodies often communicate long before we fully understand what they’re trying to say.

Ignoring symptoms never made them disappear.

Instead, it created distance between me and myself.

Listening Became Advocacy

Eventually, listening stopped feeling passive.

Tracking symptoms became advocacy.

Setting boundaries became advocacy.

Rest became advocacy.

Asking better questions during appointments became advocacy.

Even refusing to minimize my own experiences became advocacy.

This journey toward self-advocacy is explored further in I Stopped Waiting for the System to Work—and Started Fighting for Myself, which looks at redefining strength through support and speaking up.

Practical ways women advocate for themselves are also explored in What Advocacy Actually Looks Like in Women’s Health, which highlights how asking questions, seeking second opinions, and building support systems can create stronger care experiences.

Key Takeaway

Living with PMDD taught me that listening to my body was never about becoming perfect.

The real lesson was paying attention.

Curiosity slowly replaced self-blame, and support started replacing silence.

Because sometimes healing begins when we stop treating our bodies like enemies and start believing they may have been trying to protect us all along.

If you’re looking for additional support, Health In Her HUE offers a provider directory and CarePoint educational resources designed to help women access trusted health information and culturally responsive care.

Continue Reading This Series

This article is part of our series on advocacy, empowerment, and redefining what support can look like.

• I Stopped Waiting for the System to Work—and Started Fighting for Myself
  A feature narrative about shifting from survival mode to self-advocacy and support.
• Black Women Deserve Better Than Survival Mode Healthcare
  An editorial examining systemic healthcare inequities impacting Black women.
• What Advocacy Actually Looks Like in Women’s Health
  Practical examples of self-advocacy, from asking questions to building support systems.

Medical Disclaimer

This article is for educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider with questions about your health.